Chastity Is Won By God Alone

As is my (rather nerdy) wont, I’ve been reading some bits from the Church Fathers. St. John Cassian has some remarkable insights into the pursuit of chastity in his writings. He teaches that in chastity above all other virtues, human effort alone can never bring about the virtue of chastity:

5. If we really desire to enter into this spiritual combat on the same terms as the Apostle (2 Tm 4:7), let us concentrate our every effort at dominating this unclean spirit by placing our confidence not in our own forces but on the help of God. Human effort will never be able to win through here. For the soul will be attacked by this vice as long as it does not recognize that it is in a war beyond its powers and that it cannot obtain victory by its own effort unless it is shored up by the help and protection of the Lord.

There’s a necessary humility in acknowledging our utter inability to live chastely, outside the grace of God. The first step, it seems to me, is to acknowledge our complete need for God in winning the battle. Thomas Merton wrote that “real self-conquest is the conquest of the self by the Holy Spirit.” This is most true in the battle for chastity.

St. John Cassian writes more about how much we need the special aid of God in the pursuit of chastity:

6. While all progress in virtue and successful expulsion of vice is due to the grace of God, the specific aid and special gift of God is necessary for chastity. This is attested by the teaching of the elders and the purgative experience of those upon whom it has been bestowed. In a certain sense, to escape the flesh is to remain in the body while surpassing nature: to remain surrounded by fragile carnality but not to feel the stings of the flesh. Thus it is impossible, as we have said, for us to fly to such an exalted and heavenly reward on our own wings, unless the grace of God lift us up from the slime of the earth by the gift of chastity. There is no virtue which renders the lives of carnal men more similar to that of the angelic spirits than the attainment and the gift of chastity. As the Apostle says, while still living on earth they have their homeland in heaven (Phil 3:20). They already possess in their fragile flesh here in this life that which the saints are promised to possess in the future when they have left their carnal corruptibility behind.

“Carnal corruptibility” sounds so stuffy and well, “theological,” or perhaps a bit “fire and brimstone.” But we all know the truth of our hearts: Like St. Paul says, so often we do that which we don’t want to do, and don’t do that which we desire to do. That’s our carnal corruptibility, and we all have it. (I seem to have it in spades!)

St. John Cassian doesn’t suggest that by acknowledging our utter need for the grace and special aid from God to win the virtue of chastity, that we just sit by and let Him win the victory. No–we need to strive for the virtue, in the way an athlete readies himself for a contest:

7.1. Hear what the Apostle says: “Everyone who enters a contest abstains from all things” (1 Cor 9:25). Let us inquire what are “these things” that he mentions so as to acquire instruction for spiritual combat comparable to the carnal combat (see Inst. 5.12). For those who desire to struggle according to the rules in this visible contest do not have the freedom to use just any foods that appetite might suggest, but only those laid down as the training regime for those battles. Not only must they abstain from forbidden foods and all drunkenness and tippling, but also from inertia, idleness and ennui (listlessness and boredom) so as to increase their strength by daily exercise and assiduous concentration.

If we’re going to achieve chastity, we have to exercise, and build patterns in our lives that replace the patterns of the past. We have to forego certain things we find desirable, out of a goal for the higher good. We need spiritual disciplines, like frequent attendance at Mass, frequent use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, reading of Scripture, prayer, reading the Divine Office, etc.

If we sometimes despair at our failures, or the seeming impossibility of living a chaste and continent life, these words from St. Leo the Great I read today I think can bring us comfort:

And lest we should be led by despair into sheer inaction, He promises that the Divine power shall make those things possible which are to man impossible from his own lack of power: for narrow and strait is the way which leads unto life (Matthew 7:14), and no one could set foot on it, no one could advance one step, unless Christ by making Himself the Way unbarred the difficulties of approach: and thus the Ordainer of the journey becomes the Means whereby we are able to accomplish it, because not only does He impose the labour, but also brings us to the haven of rest. In Him therefore we find our Model of patience, in Whom we have our Hope of life eternal; for if we suffer with Him, we shall also reign with Him (2 Timothy 2:12), since, as the Apostle says, he that says he abides in Christ ought himself also to walk as He walked (1 John 2:6). Otherwise we make a vain presence and show, if we follow not His steps, Whose name we glory in, and assuredly they would not be irksome to us, but would free us from all dangers, if we loved nothing but what He commanded us to love.

The challenge for me is to trust God that He makes the impossible possible. I long to see chastity integrated into my life like it was integrated into the lives of Mary, the Mother of God and her chaste spouse, St. Joseph, as well as in all of the other great saints of the Church who’ve gone before us. I thank God for the example of someone like David, who though having committed adultery with Bathsheba, and arranging to have her husband killed in order to marry her, God still forgave him. It has always comforted me to know that David, such a passionate man who clearly had strong sexual urges was still called “a man after God’s own heart.” It has always helped me to realize that God’s forgiveness and redemption is so powerful, that after our mistakes, the rewriting of the story makes the story that much better. Christ the Redeemer came from the union of David and Bathsheba, which gives flesh to the words of St. Paul when he tells us, “where sin is, grace abounds.” No greater story of grace abounding after unchastity exists than that our Savior came from the sexual union of two who were forgiven of committing adultery.

I too find the example of St. Augustine, who battled so much with unchastity, inspiring too. His words in the Confessions echo how often I have felt in my life, when he said, “give me chastity…but just not yet!”

I had been extremely miserable in adolescence, miserable from its very onset, and as I prayed to you for the gift of chastity I had even pleaded, “Grant me chastity and self-control, but please not yet.” I was afraid that you might hear me immediately and heal me forthwith of the morbid lust which I was more anxious to satisfy than to snuff out.

St. Augustine ran the race though, even if reluctantly at first, something I find myself sometimes doing too. Thank God we have saints like St. Augustine to pray for us, since they knew the delights of sexual pleasure too, and how enticingly they can lure us away from that which we truly desire. And from Whom will truly fulfill us.

St. Augustine, pray for us.

Mary, Mother Most Chaste, pray for us.

St. Joseph, Chaste Guardian of the Virgin, pray for us.

King David, pray for us.

6 thoughts on “Chastity Is Won By God Alone

  1. This is a timely message for this season, when many feel the weight of loneliness more acutely than otherwise (as I can). What I love about this post is that you don’t leave this discussion at the merely theoretical level; there are tangible ways in which we throw ourselves upon the grace of God, definite steps we take in our journey towards and with HIm. I think I may have needed the encouragement to continue in those spiritual disciplines you listed (prayer, Scripture, the Eucharist, the Divine Office) more than I realized. As always, thank you so much for what you do in this blog. I will be praying that our most precious hope given to us by Jesus Christ might remain in you and strengthen you this Advent.

    • Thanks Ryan. I’m glad this was helpful. I wrote it primarily for me, as a reminder to me, and I’m glad it may help. This time of year can indeed be difficult, and I know I need the help of the sacraments and spiritual disciplines this time of year more than ever. God bless you!

  2. I second what Ryan stated above.

    In reflecting on this post, I become very aware of the obstacles and excuses I make for leaving the mentioned disciplines by the wayside. I start them with great enthusiasm and can even keep them going for extended periods of time. Then life happens, and I go off the rails. And lately I’ve become aware of the possibility that I project something that causes others to act and speak “unchastely” around me. To be perfectly honest, I am afraid to make St. Augustine’s prayer my own. Looks like I have my Advent work cut out for me. Thanks for the reminder.

    • We all have our work cut out for us, don’t we? I just read something today about how St. Augustine would think back on the things he enjoyed from when he was sinful, but at the point of his writing, looked back only with sadness and horror. I’m not quite there–I can still look back at times of unchastity and remember the enjoyment, not the “horror.” That’s my particular work that I need to ask God to do in my life. Not necessarily to see my past experiences with “horror,” but for what they truly are, honestly: a substitute for that which would truly make me happy. We grow slowly, right?

      God bless you!

  3. I just found this blog; I hope I’ll find the way back, by God’s grace. The words here ride on the winds of prayers, which together lift my soul above the sorrows and longings about me, if only for the present hour.

    I love Mother Angelica’s prayer: “Sweet Mother, clean my house. Make me compassionate and merciful. Make me humble of heart.”


    • Thanks for stopping by, and for your kind and humbling words. Thanks too for sharing the beautiful prayer from Mother Angelica. I didn’t know that one, but because of certain things going on in my life right now, that bit about compassionate, merciful and humble of heart really hits home. (So too does “clean my house”)

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