I haven’t really been keeping up with regular blogposts lately, mainly because I’ve been very busy with lots of other things going on in my life. But something happened tonight that motivated me to write a quick post.
In the debate about how open one should be about one’s sexual attractions to the same sex among Catholic circles, I’ve often encountered the argument that “it’s exhausting to constantly hide one’s sexual orientation.” The examples that are often given are the times when people ask about your romantic situation: are you single, are you dating someone, are you married, that sort of thing.
Tonight I was at one of my favorite breweries and while the friend I was with struck up a conversation with the fellow to his left, I began chatting with the guy to my right.
We talked about the usual stuff one talks about at a brewery: what beers are your favorite, what styles do you like, what’s your favorite brewery in the state. Eventually the conversation turned towards what part of town we both lived in, and our living situation. I found out he was single, though on the search for the right woman. He then asked if I had a wife at home.
Now apparently this is supposedly an automatic moment of angst for those who have chosen to identify as “gay chaste Christians.” I don’t experience that, because I’m very honest with my sexuality. I accept the truth that I am a man made for women, regardless of my subjective desires and attractions for men. So what did I say to the guy?
I told him, “well, I’m single right now. I haven’t met the right woman, but I’m quite content to live as a single guy. I figure at this point in my life I’m not really in the search for a woman to share my life with, since I’m pretty content as a single guy, but I’m certainly open to the possibility if the right woman comes along. I’m not in a proactive search, but I’m open to the possibility.”
This answer has always served me well, and it’s very honest. I accept the objective reality that I am a man made for women, that my true chance for companionship will only ever be with a woman . There’s no dishonesty here at all.